clueless

i got a new shirt at the dave matthews concert this past weekend. it's super cute, charcoal grey v-neck with 3/4 sleeves. printed on the front are circles of varying sizes and bright colors, and at the bottom, of course, 'Dave Matthews Band'

i got an x-large- which is what i always get in concert t-shirts. i put that sucker on to wear to the 2nd night of concert, and it was like trying to squeeze loose meat into a tiny piece of petrified intestine. the shirt was too small.

i call for hubby to tell him it's too small. he askes me to put it on again so he can see, so i abide. he says, "that looks hot"
i say, "it's not that bad, but i can put on a t-shirt"

he meant it looks like, hott, like, good.

i'm only

but not to be taken seriously
its fun to laugh and talk and play and joke,
but not when it's time to fight.
suggestions are taken with a bottle of salt
and slinking away for better advisement
it's easy to smile and be confidant,
it's a knife twisting to know it's nothing more.
a certain small bit i can have the domain, and impressive it is at that,
but the larger part,
the meaningful part,
is what i'll always see from far away-
what i'll always pretend is part of me
and pretend is loose at that...
it will never be me.
for that, envy, or jealousy, or nothing fills me to the brim.