i had a pretty bad case of the mondays today. it was bad enough i got into a fight with my toothbrush.
while i was walking today, i realized i could not think of one single thing i have ever been 100% confident about. maybe the dude i like rightnow, but that could be the extent.
it's a bit tragic i think. there have been things i've thought i'm moderately good at, but nothing that i would full out say i'm great at- there has always been my own lack of confidence, someone to remind me that i cannot do it, or someone obviously better at said thing than me.
i think that's part of the reason i haven't been more proactive about getting my MT license. i'm scared i'm not good enough. that someone will second guess me and i will lose all authority. it's easy have a boring, menial job, because there isn't any commitment from me to do anything but show up on time.
i hav e certain level of confidence with coaching speech, but even that is hindered because i worry what i tell the kids wont mesh with with russ and adam tell them. those 2 are so on the same wavelength, i dont want to be wrong and rock the boat.
this is going to be a silly ramble if i don't stop now.
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Stop it.
ReplyDeletewe all feel that way - we all feel that we could be better, or why can't i be as good as so and so.
don't' measure your self against any one thing or anyone else. that is like comparing apples to orangutan asses.
you are as good as you can be in your time and your space. learn from what you did in that day and improve upon yourself. make yourself the best that you can be, not the best that you feel others are.
once that is done, you should go on a smoke break :)